Incomia

You know those people, the ones who are proficient at their job. But, if you’re being completely honest, they’re no rock stars. Yet, somehow, they always seem to get promoted—and it irks you because you know you’re better at the job than they are. They just might be more likeable. Here’s the thing. It is not that we are doing something wrong; it is simply human nature to be driven by a primal need for connection. Just as we do not buy products rationally, we do not buy people rationally, either. We buy (and promote) people emotionally. Which means the game we are playing in the workplace, and in many other aspects of life, is not just a proficiency one.  We gravitate toward things and people that make us feel good— we are chemically wired to . We are all addicts chasing feel-good endorphins. People that make us feel good make us want more of that feeling. That is why they often get ahead. How to be more likeable This makes being likeable a powerful skill, one that we all need t...

In 2005 I was confident. I had just appeared on the Today show to promote my first nonfiction book, an account of how my life was transformed by sacrificing some little luxuries. Just six months before, I had made a major career change , leaving my position as a marketing director at a publishing company to start my own business and begin a writing career. Why I put off writing a book Writing a novel has always been my dream. Although I was having financial success as a writer, I wasn’t sure that my skills could translate from nonfiction to fiction. Like most working writers, a deadline with pay sets off an internal starting gun that allows the words to flow freely and willingly to the page. The risky promise of some hypothetical future payday from a novel wasn’t enough to motivate me. Even thinking the word novel conjures intimidating figures—Richard Ford, Margaret Atwood, Jhumpa Lahiri and John Irving. I’m petrified by the pretentiousness of the notion that my book would ever be ...

Think before you speak. Seems obvious, doesn’t it? After all, there are some things a good leader and boss should never say to an employee. But, be real, do you actually thing before speaking? No? Then shhh! There are some things you should never be caught saying—especially if you call yourself a leader. Because you have the power to influence people , you’ve got to choose the right words . If you don’t, you risk being a bad boss . Things a boss should never say to an employee So that you don’t get caught with your foot in your mouth, we asked the Young Entrepreneur Council, “What should a leader never say—and why?” Here are the phrases they suggest you eliminate from your leadership lingo: 1. “I don’t have time right now.” Yes, a leader is constantly busy. Tasks and meetings never end, but you should always make time to answer an employee’s question. If an employee is constantly told “Now is not a good time” or “Come back later,” they will stop asking questions. Always have time ...

So you think you’re creative? We’re going to guess you do. In an informal poll, we asked friends, family members and neighbors the same question, and the results were unanimous: A retired accountant: yes. The barista at a favorite local coffee shop: yes. A neuroscience researcher: yes. A dog walker: yes. The across-the-hall neighbor, a photographer and a stay-at-home parent: yes. We can’t possibly all be creative, though, right? Actually we can. Creativity was once considered to be the exclusive dominion of eccentric geniuses such as Albert Einstein, Vincent van Gogh and Steve Jobs. But recent research shows manifold traits—including intelligence, personality traits such as openness to experience and curiosity —affect creativity. Being creative and neuroscience In Wired to Create: Unraveling the Mysteries of the Creative Mind , co-author Scott Barry Kaufman, Ph.D., makes the case that everyone’s brains are capable of profound creativity . But knowing how or why is a sticky...

Sometimes it feels like a never-ending cycle. Pay for Facebook ads (or Instagram ads or sponsored tweets or YouTube ads), watch your traffic get a bump, close a few sales, repeat. Or maybe you’re working hard at creating YouTube videos and posting perfect Instagram pictures. Maybe you’re getting a ton of traffic from Pinterest. You spend hours crafting content, picking the right descriptions, and filling in all the meta-data. And it works . Traffic is coming in — and so are the sales. Then your third-party platform hits you with an algorithm update. Whether you’re paying for ads or just smart about how you post your content, an algorithm change shakes up the entire game. And just like that , your traffic is gone and you have to figure out how to replace all those leads. Whose platform are you building, anyway? While building your following on third-party platforms can be a way to drive traffic to your website and covert sales, the reality is that every time you put content elsewh...

When I was in seventh grade, I got beat up by a skinny little girl with an umbrella. To make that picture perfectly clear, I’m saying a girl about three-eighths my size took her umbrella and beat the ever-living crap out of me with it. In front of people. It was a Hello Kitty umbrella, to add insult to minor injuries. It seemed a little immature to bring a Hello Kitty umbrella to school at that age, but I was in no position to judge. When I was in junior high, I got beat up by a fifth grader. Bad. I got beat up bad by a fifth grader. Like blood-and-black-eyes bad. I wish this was a joke, but it’s not. It’s history—my personal, pathetic history. I was not courageous and it showed. All throughout school I did everything I could to avoid fights. I mean, if a skinny little seventh grade girl could do that much damage with a plastic Hello Kitty umbrella, just imagine what a regular boy my own age could do to me with a normal, heavier object! Screw that, I laid low. If someone wanted to ...

I woke up early one morning last summer to turn in a story. I was camping in a trailer in rural Wisconsin, and I intended to connect my laptop to the internet by using my phone as a hot spot. But my phone had no service. No phone, no hot spot, no way to turn in the story. “Turn in the story” is the single most important task I have as a freelance journalist. If I can’t turn in stories, my business ceases to exist, which made this a problem I needed to solve, immediately. As my wife and kids slept, I exited the trailer and paced a rut in the dirt as I thought through solutions. I could drive to a local coffee shop and file from there. For that, I’d have to wait more than an hour for it to open. Until then, I decided I might as well take a walk and hope I found cell service. I was pretty sure I was in one of those very small, unpredictable and massively annoying blank spots in coverage. How small, I soon found out. I walked with my phone in my right hand and my laptop in my left. Afte...